Ogu Chukwuebuka Kizito

Staring at the walls of this prison, looking at the bars that have held me hostage for a long time. I watched seconds turn to minutes, minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days, and weeks to months. Locked inside a room with no hope of freedom. In some of my bad days, I have been crushed, I have felt hopelessness, I have felt suicidal.

I remember the feeling of freedom that I never valued. I remember doing anything I wanted, walking anywhere I wanted, how I would sacrifice everything to have it back. How funny life is, we never really know what we have until we lose it. How often did my mother repeat these words, but it is now that I am able to truly understand these wordings. In this prison, I have became wiser, I could see that there are things I never valued, things that were the most important things in life.

A prisoner for life is what I became, I will never again feel the free air caress my skin, I shall never behold my loved ones and show them how much I do care, I shall never do what I like. My actions and thoughts became bound. These iron bars and walls hold me back from the desires and cravings of my heart.

How I wanted to be close to my lover, how I longed to hold her once more if she would ever give me the chance? How I would go to the ends of the world to make things right by myself and the people I love. Even now she has left me, I won’t mind pledging my life even as a slave until she could feel my repentant heart. In this prison of my life, I have learnt one thing, that all we have on earth is time, and that we must use it well.

All I treasure now are memories and fantasies I have of her. My best moments are in the cold nights when she visits my dreams. I closed my eyes to see her smile, as she holds me in an embrace, how I long to see that breath-taking smile once more. The words that I should have told her, always flood my mind. The prison warden always seemed to awaken me into the reality I hate the most. How often I had thought of strangling this warden who had so much joy in seeing me infuriated by simply waking me into the world of reality. I prayed and waited for her all day long, and in some days she never came. All that mattered to me was that interlude where I was with someone that valued my life. That soul that will stand through the tempest with you. I will forever remain a prisoner of this soul, who has been bound.

My life, my world, who will set me free from those shackles to which I have been bound?


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